Guest Post by Ashley Sardoni
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When I was young, I knew I’d be a teacher. I pretended my toys were students and would set them up and give them homework.
When I was young, I knew I’d be a mom, but I didn’t know that adding a word to that title would change everything. Single. I didn’t see that one coming, so when it did, I was unprepared. Now, I see that that small powerful word had more meaning than any other label I’d ever given myself.
People tend to look at single moms in a different light and may make assumptions. Some people are surprised I was once married; instead, think I somehow had a child by myself or under some other negative circumstances. Others ask about her father, some don’t. You never know how a woman became a single mom, but the worst thing you can do is assume the worst.
Some women leave abusive relationships, others had no relations with the father, some chose to raise a child alone and there are a hundred other reasons between. But none of that really matters. What matters is that we are a group of tough women, sometimes not by choice. And please, don’t pity us. There is so much we have to be grateful for. Here are my top reasons that being a single mom is pretty awesome!
Yes, there is freedom in being the sole parent. You don’t always have to ask permission about your plans. You can take your child on vacation; you can say yes/no to engagements without planning around schedules and you can keep all the hugs and kisses to yourself!
When my daughter was just a few years old, I did the unthinkable! I took her on a week-long
cruise all by myself. I wanted to prove that I could still do those fun things I thought only
“families” could do. I didn’t want her or me to miss out on anything.
It turned out to be the most rewarding, memorable and life-changing experience. If you want to
see our adventure and read about what not to pack on vacation as a single mom, check this out!
Vacations Without Baggage: Easier Travel With Kids (wixsite.com)
- Single Parenting that Works – Six Keys to Raising Happy, Healthy Children in a Single-Parent Home
- Surviving and Thriving on the Single-Parent Journey: A Step-By-Step Approach
- I am the Parent Who Stayed: Joyfully parenting alone
2. Built-In Best Friend:
You have a shopping buddy, a movie date, a spa partner all without having to pick up the phone. Sometimes your child may roll their eyes that you want to hang out with them again, but at the end of the day, every mom knows how strong that bond is.
Now that my daughter is older, she often asks me to do fun things with her. We have a routine of
reading together before bed, we plan a dinner-date once a month, and sometimes we even find
time for a little road trip! If you want a list of activities to do with your child, that doesn’t always
involve buying things or spending money, please read Go Play, Kids! Have Fun Without Clutter
on my website.
3. Never Alone:
This one is a double-edged sword. While moms sometimes yearn for privacy and alone time, we may not often get it. The good news is that we are never alone. There’s always someone there looking to make you smile, asking for something to snack on or giving you lots of love. Lucky single moms get all the snuggles!
I asked my daughter what the best part of having just one parent at home was and her response
made me laugh. It was simply, “It’s not as loud as having two parents around.” I guess she’s onto
something. Even kids can see the positive in what is often considered not ideal.
Just because you don’t have a partner, doesn’t mean you are completely on your own in raising a child. You can meet some pretty great people who just happen to be single moms too. There are playgroups and meetups that would welcome you.
There are also extended family members and friends who can act as wonderful role models for our kids. There is no limit to the number of people who love your child just as much as you.
I don’t know where I would be without the help of my parents, who took on roles that far
exceeded “grandparents”. My daughter has such a close bond with them, which she may have
missed out on if we weren’t around as much. Plus, I’ve never heard a grandparent say they see
their grandkids too much. Their own kids, that’s a different story.
5. Unconditional Love
It’s true with any parents, our kids motivate us to be better. At the end of the day, if we do the right thing, we get the biggest reward there is: Love.
Single or not, our kids will see how much we care and adore them.
No, it’s not always easy to raise a child on your own. There’s no one to change diapers, help with
feedings, let us sleep in when they are young. There’s no one to quell the tantrums, fight at
bedtime or engage in the picky food war; it’s all on us.
There’s no one to help with bedtime routines, engage in the picky food war or quell the
tantrums while we’re shopping; it’s all on us. If you happen to need some tips on how to prevent
tantrums while shopping, please read Leave it at the Store: Shopping without the Tantrums
on my website.
However, if we focus more on the positive side of being labelled a single mom, it really isn’t that
bad at all. Eventually, our children will grow up and look back to see just how tough their moms
were! They must know What it means to Win in Life being a Woman.
So, whether you are new at this single mom thing or a seasoned pro, remember you are amazing and a part of a special group of women! Your children are lucky to have you as their mom.
What is your favourite part about being a single mom?
About Guest Author – Ashley Sardoni
Ashley Sardoni is an English/Creative Writing lecturer who obtained her MFA from Fairleigh Dickinson University in NJ. She is a proud single mom, who writes the blog The Kids are a Mess. When she is not
writing, she is enjoying the beach, reading and cleaning the house.
Instagram handle : @thekidsareamess