Guest Post by Ashley Sardoni
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When I was young, I knew I’d be a teacher. I pretended my toys were students and would set them up and give them homework.
When I was young, I knew I’d be creative. I drew and wrote and painted and loved all things bright and colourful. I also enjoyed craft activities.
When I was young, I knew I’d be a mom, but I didn’t know that adding a word to that title would change everything. Single. I didn’t see that one coming, so when it did, I was unprepared. Now, I see that that small powerful word had more meaning than any other label I’d ever given myself.
People tend to look at single moms in a different light and may make assumptions. Some people are surprised I was once married; instead, think I somehow had a child by myself or under some other negative circumstances. Others ask about her father, some don’t. You never know how a woman became a single mom, but the worst thing you can do is assume the worst.
Some women leave abusive relationships, others had no relations with the father, some chose to raise a child alone and there are a hundred other reasons between. But none of that really matters. What matters is that we are a group of tough women, sometimes not by choice. And please, don’t pity us. There is so much we have to be grateful for. Here are my top reasons that being a single mom is pretty awesome!
Table of Contents
1. Freedom
Yes, there is freedom in being the sole parent. You don’t always have to ask permission about your plans. You can take your child on vacation; you can say yes/no to engagements without planning around schedules and you can keep all the hugs and kisses to yourself!
When my daughter was just a few years old, I did the unthinkable! I took her on a week-long
cruise all by myself. I wanted to prove that I could still do those fun things I thought only
“families” could do. I didn’t want her or me to miss out on anything.
It turned out to be the most rewarding, memorable and life-changing experience. If you want to
see our adventure and read about what not to pack on vacation as a single mom, check this out!
Vacations Without Baggage: Easier Travel With Kids (wixsite.com)
- Single Parenting that Works – Six Keys to Raising Happy, Healthy Children in a Single-Parent Home
- Surviving and Thriving on the Single-Parent Journey: A Step-By-Step Approach
- I am the Parent Who Stayed: Joyfully parenting alone
2. Built-In Best Friend:
You have a shopping buddy, a movie date, a spa partner all without having to pick up the phone. Sometimes your child may roll their eyes that you want to hang out with them again, but at the end of the day, every mom knows how strong that bond is.
Now that my daughter is older, she often asks me to do fun things with her. We have a routine of
reading together before bed, we plan a dinner-date once a month, and sometimes we even find
time for a little road trip! If you want a list of activities to do with your child, that doesn’t always
involve buying things or spending money, please read Go Play, Kids! Have Fun Without Clutter
on my website.
3. Never Alone:
This one is a double-edged sword. While moms sometimes yearn for privacy and alone time, we may not often get it. The good news is that we are never alone. There’s always someone there looking to make you smile, asking for something to snack on or giving you lots of love. Lucky single moms get all the snuggles!
I asked my daughter what the best part of having just one parent at home was and her response
made me laugh. It was simply, “It’s not as loud as having two parents around.” I guess she’s onto
something. Even kids can see the positive in what is often considered not ideal.
4. Community
Just because you don’t have a partner, doesn’t mean you are completely on your own in raising a child. You can meet some pretty great people who just happen to be single moms too. There are playgroups and meetups that would welcome you.
There are also extended family members and friends who can act as wonderful role models for our kids. There is no limit to the number of people who love your child just as much as you.
I don’t know where I would be without the help of my parents, who took on roles that far
exceeded “grandparents”. My daughter has such a close bond with them, which she may have
missed out on if we weren’t around as much. Plus, I’ve never heard a grandparent say they see
their grandkids too much. Their own kids, that’s a different story.
5. Unconditional Love
It’s true with any parents, our kids motivate us to be better. At the end of the day, if we do the right thing, we get the biggest reward there is: Love.
Single or not, our kids will see how much we care and adore them.
No, it’s not always easy to raise a child on your own. There’s no one to change diapers, help with
feedings, let us sleep in when they are young. There’s no one to quell the tantrums, fight at
bedtime or engage in the picky food war; it’s all on us.
There’s no one to help with bedtime routines, engage in the picky food war or quell the
tantrums while we’re shopping; it’s all on us. If you happen to need some tips on how to prevent
tantrums while shopping, please read Leave it at the Store: Shopping without the Tantrums
on my website.
However, if we focus more on the positive side of being labelled a single mom, it really isn’t that
bad at all. Eventually, our children will grow up and look back to see just how tough their moms
were! They must know What it means to Win in Life being a Woman.
So, whether you are new at this single mom thing or a seasoned pro, remember you are amazing and a part of a special group of women! Your children are lucky to have you as their mom.
What is your favourite part about being a single mom?
About Guest Author – Ashley Sardoni
Ashley Sardoni is an English/Creative Writing lecturer who obtained her MFA from Fairleigh Dickinson University in NJ. She is a proud single mom, who writes the blog The Kids are a Mess. When she is not
writing, she is enjoying the beach, reading and cleaning the house.
Instagram handle : @thekidsareamess
This is such an encouragement words. This is great encouragement for singles mothers.
So true Deborah. Thanks for your lovely feedback.
Enjoyed reading this. There are just so many types of parenting journeys and I can appreciate each one
Thank you so much for your feedback.
This is a really beautiful post. My mom raised me as a single mom – yes she remarried at one point but growing up my experience was very different. I have the most amazing mom and we have a very strong and close relationship to this day.
That’s wonderful you have a very beautiful relationship with your amazing Mom. Thanks for sharing your experience.
This was such a great perspective about the joys of being a single mom. All things I hadn’t thought about before.
So true. It is a perspective we normally don’t think about. Thanks for your feedback.
This is such a great article filled with positivity! My mom was a single mom to 4 kids, and I remember she joined Parents Without Partners, such a great community!
Thanks for your feedback & for sharing your experience.
This is a beautiful perspective! Keep up the great work, Mama!
Thank you Karen for your feedback.
Thank you for sharing. You are a great writer. I was a single mother with my 2 older kids. I enjoyed the freedom of parenting by myself. I didn’t have to consult with anyone about my decisions or worry about different parenting styles. But it was hard to be alone. I wish I had some good friends when I needed that help and support.
Thanks for sharing your experience Rosita. It means a lot.
This is such a lovely, positive read, you get to know more of the perspective of a single mom. Great post! xx
TheQuietGirl | http://www.quietgirlblog.com
Thank you so much Anissa for your feedback.
This post is amazing and will be useful to single mothers who may be struggling.
Whatever your parenting journey is, it can be so difficult, but then so amazing! Nobody should judge anyone else’s situation.
Keep going fierce Mama! What a lucky little girl, to have such an amazing Mum 🙂
Thank you for such lovely words. And so true that we should not judge anyone else’s situation. Thanks
Awwn! I loved reading this beautiful, non judgmental perspective of being a single mum. I hadn’t thought of being a single mum in this way so thank you for this. I feel like there’s different kinds of parenting and we should embrace whichever we find ourselves in. Also, sometimes, people judge single mothers and that’s terrible. We should learn to stop judging people. Thank you so much for sharing x
Absolutely agree. We need to change our perspective on single moms. Thanks for your feedback Ruth
I love this uplifting post! Being a single mum always seems to be portrayed as super difficult or somehow not what people would ever want- but it’s great to hear some positives of the experience. I’m sure it is super hard at times but it’s important to remember there are so many uplifting and inspiring reasons why single nuns are great. Fantastic post 🙂
True how we judge others. Thanks for your feedback.