spice up married life

How To Spice Up Married Life After Becoming Parents?

Valentine’s Day is just round the corner & Love is on almost everyone’s mind at some point in time. Especially during the month of February. February is the month of romance and the time for not only romantic thoughts but romantic actions.

Some might have also noted Spicing Up Married Life as their New Year Resolutions.

So why should married couples be left out? Mainly those couples who are also parents. So can we Spice Up Married Life After becoming Parents?

Let’s find out …

This post contains affiliate links to various products and if you buy anything by clicking those links, I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. To find out more, you can read my disclaimer here

spice up married life
Photo by JoEllen Moths from Pexels

Keep in mind that sex is sex and love is love and what we’re talking about here is true unadulterated love. The pure love between two people who care for one another so much that when physical contact is no longer possible because bones are too old and brittle, or illness keeps them physically apart, they still have that need to be together because of the great love they share for one another.

Everybody wants to love and be loved in return. Falling in love is one of the best feelings ever to feel by an individual. When in love, a person has all the reasons to smile and be happy.


So now imagine this story in your head:

There is a young couple who is very much in love with each other. Then they take the plunge & get married. There are romantic days & amorous nights.

Days pass by & their love for each other intensifies. They plan to go ahead and raise a family.

They get pregnant. They are over the moon. Their happiness knows no bounds.

After nine months they have a baby. Both are absolutely thrilled.

Days pass & their responsibility increases, there is more work, less money, more tiredness less relaxing time ….. And by the time they know it …. Romance is already out of their lives.

If that sounded like you, then you know what I am talking about.

Also, if that does not sound like you then …… Lucky You 🙂

To get to the crux of the matter why does this romance fade out after the loving couple become parents?

There are many factors that lead to it. I am talking about it because, till you understand the problem you can’t get to the solution.

So, to spice up married life romance you need to know the reasons why it faded in the first place.


So what are the factors that become prime after you have a baby

  1. Baby is the centre of attraction now – for both of you. Your importance for each other has reduced & baby has taken that place. It’s like it starts from the moment you know you are pregnant.
  2. Chores, chores & more chores – Chores have become never ending. You sleep doing the chores, you wake up to chores & you keep doing them throughout the day. With a baby / kid in house, there definitely is more work to do than when it was just the two of you.
  3. No time for yourself – Well we just saw in the previous point that how the new parents & old 🙂 are loaded with extra work. So much so that they don’t have tome for themselves.
  4. Relatives especially grandparents make way home – Well, when grandparents can be a lot of help, there can be a downside to it too. They might want to be more often with the baby than you would like which might result in clashes
  5. No privacy – Well, the baby is always there & sometimes even the grandparents leaving hardly any privacy for the couple to be together on their own.
  6. Exertion: Physical & mental – Raising kids is not easy. It not only exerts you physically but also mentally.
  7. Money – Whoever said raising family only needed love was lying. Raising a family needs money. And when you fall short of it, there are fights which unfortunately does not lead to romance.
  8. Communication gap – With having very less time for yourself there is not much time to talk which then leads to communication gap & missunderstandings
  9. Body Changes – Pregnancy & birth leads to changes in the woman’s body. That in turn can lead to disinterest in the whole romance & intimacy.
  10. Disinterest in sex – With very little time for yourself & with all the communication gap the interest in each other dwindles.

So now we know what are the problems let’s see how we can spice it up:

Spice Up Married Life After Becoming Parents.

Marriage can have its ups and downs and successful marriage is only possible if both parties are prepared to work at it. Love must be nurtured if they want to keep it from going stale.

To be honest, you don’t need to do much to Spice Up Married Life. Just little romantic gestures & actions work like magic.

Don’t believe me? Try them for yourself.

1. Good night kiss

Is that too much to ask for? Well no. Will it lead to anything … well, maybe yes ….. maybe no. But it will sure make your partner feel special & wanted. And that’s just the start. So, you get the drift, right?

2. Hold hands

One would say it is not that romantic. I say that it is very romantic. Holding hands while even sitting on your couch can be very romantic. You don’t need to grab out any extra time to hold hands & express your love. But the ripples it will send are manifold.

3. Prepare dinner together

I & my husband make it a point to prepare dinner together at least once a week. It is very relaxing & helps in bonding. You must try it. In fact, if your partner does not do much kitchen work, he or she can just be there with you to give you company. That is also romantic & would help in getting some intimate moments together.


4. Late night date

I know, you don’t have time to go out & you don’t have time for yourself & yet I am asking for a Date. Yes. You can do it. Tuck in the kids in their bed. Off they go to sleep & you get your undisturbed Late Night Date. You can binge on Netflix with your popcorn & cuddles 💖 or just a romantic dinner date. Your choice!

5. Plan a local honeymoon

Now you will ask me what is that & how do I go out leaving the kids alone? Point noted.

But it is still doable.

First things first. So let’s take care of the kids first shall we? So if you remember, I mentioned grandparents & relatives who love to spend time with your kids & love to be with them. Well, all you have to do is ask them to look after the kids for a day. Let me assure you, they will gladly babysit your kids.

Next book in a local hotel, take the day off & both of you spend the whole day together. If you can manage to go for a day trip to some nearby lovely place that’s even better. This will definitely relax you both & help in a more intimate bond. This will also give you that time you so much crave for to be in each other’s company (or should I say in each other’s arms? 😉😉 )

6. Soothing Massage – That’s just the start …

You can give your partner a soothing massage, foot scrub, back rub, do the chores together and many more worthwhile activities that will make the bond stronger. You can let your partner decide on what is the possible thing to do to enhance the romance between the two of you. What do think of this?

7. Acknowledge & Compliment

You know everyone like an acknowledgement for the hard work they put in doing things. Why not empathize & acknowledge the hard work put in by your partner to raise the family. Some lovely words of compliments have not done any harm to anyone. Everyone loves praises. Praise your partner, show them that you care & support them. An occasional gift will be much appreciated by your partner.

8. Talk – Communication is very vital

One of the major problems of the distance between the partners can be miscommunication. So it is very important that both the partners talk out their differences. Good communication is key to a successful marriage & thereby a great bond.

Don’t let things fester. If one partner is feeling upset by something another has said or done then they should tell their partner right away, instead of assuming that the partner will guess what is wrong. What may be obvious to one, may not be obvious to another! Both the partners need to be more forthcoming in sharing what is on their minds. Good communication is definitely vital.

That was a bit serious. But, you should also spend time & talk with each other. Like you would chat with any friend. I & my husband can talk & discuss any topic under the earth. Try to get that comfort level with your partner & chat like friends. You will surely have a fun time.

9. Learn To Let Go & Forgive

Why does it become so difficult to let go & forgive? I think in a marriage both the partners need to learn to understand each other, let go of their egos and not hold grudges against each other. Forgiving your partner will not make you inferior or small in your relationship. In fact, it will hold your relationship & make it sail through.

People make mistakes and do stupid things. We need to be quick to say sorry, and quick to forgive. Married couples must never harbour grudges. Besides, harbouring grudges solves nothing.

married life
Pin Now, Read Later

10. Laugh it Loud

Remember the saying ‘Laughter is the best medicine’, it really is. Life can get dull, boring & monotonous. What’s Life without any laughter & mirth? Try sharing jokes, see hilarious videos & laugh to your heart’s content. You will surely see the spark of romance in the laughter & gleaming eyes.

11. Intimacy is an Integral part of your Married Life

No matter how much you want to get intimate with each other, with a baby in the house, it just seems impossible. But don’t let it get in the way of your sex life. Like I said before, to spice up your married life sex is not everything, but it is a significant & integral part of your married life.

Trying new things, soft music, alluring fragrance & sexy outfit might just be the ingredients for some magical moments together. So what are you waiting for?

12. Love Texts or Emails

Have you ever tried texting or emailing love messages? It actually can work as a huge turn on. You can also get naughty & try sexting.

Even though you both may be in the same room, a love message or a seductive note can do wonders to spice up your married life. You can actually also try stick-it notes to write some cute & naughty love notes.

Keeping one’s married life happy is very essential. It is essential that you understand each other’s needs and try to fulfil them. Partners need to go back in life and look for that spark that kindled the love in the first place. Reflect. Go back and think. Bring that charm back.

Complimenting each other for the smallest act, expressing happiness to be part of each other’s life, letting the partner know how much you value her/him and so many small things that make the other partner happy must be done daily.

There is no shortcut to spice up your married life. But these are a few things that you can do to ensure that you bring back romance & spice in your married life.

💖Little sweet gestures can help you get the best Spice of your Married Life💖

So do you need to spice up your married life? Do you have any tips? Do share it with us by commenting below. I would love to hear your tips & views on this blog.

I hope you like this blog. And if you like my work you can now Buy Me a Coffee

You may also like...


  1. These are great tips! I am a first time mom to a 12 week old and it’s been very hard for my husband and I to spend time together, not to mention remembering to be nice to him after I’ve been home all day with a crying baby (I think she’s hitting another developmental milestone??). Going to try some of these suggestions. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Oh, Congratulations Angie. I am glad you liked the post & great to know you find the tips useful. Thanks for your feedback.

  2. Hi Rupali,
    It’s such a great reminder to prioritize the connection with your partner. By staying connected, the family bond is strengthened. It’s important for the children to see their parents love and respect each other as well. A great refresher for any relationship.


    1. I absolutely agree with you, Cassie. Thank you so much for your feedback.

  3. Great post. Although I’m not a parent yet, these tips are helpful for future plans. Thanks so much

    1. Thanks, Rayo for your feedback.

  4. Wanderingkellers says:

    Great post. Maintaining the diversity of interactions in marriage can be a challenge.

    1. That is so true. Thanks for your feedback.

      1. These are wonderful tips. You definitely both have to work at keeping a great marriage. Being creative is important when it comes to time together. Also forgiveness is vital in maintaining a healthy marriage. Thank you for sharing 🤗

        Pastor Natalie (ExamineThisMoment)

        1. Thank you so much Natalie for your lovely feedback. Really appreciate it.

  5. Spice it up! Everyone relationship, married or not needs works and a dose of spice. You shared some good practical things. I love the idea of local honeymoon. Every couple should try it every month if possible. It definitely helps to satisfy the intimacy part of the relationship.

    1. Thanks Kevin for your feedback.

  6. Great tips. Sometimes it isn’t easy to do them.
    But need to keep in mind that you are a couple even when the kids aren’t around

    1. I absolutely agree with you. But you have to try & find time & space to kindle that romance. Thanks for your feedback.

  7. Kristen Osborne says:

    Communication is always important, that is definitely an aspect of the relationship that suffers after having children. Thank you for sharing this post, it will be helpful to many people.

  8. Kristen Osborne says:

    Communication is so important. We so often lose sight of the personal relationships with our partners when a child is born. Being parents tends to consume our daily lives, pushing aside the bond that brought us to that point in the first place. Great post. Thank you for sharing.

  9. It is not easy to stay romantic after kids. Your priorities may change but the purpose should remain same. Your tips are practical but the every happy marriage needs association. I love to share your tips with my elder brother who has a six months old baby boy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *