Here is my Journey of Pregnancy at 40:
Seems like just yesterday, that I and my husband were having this conversation:
Me – Looks like we will have to suffice with only one baby. I am nearing 40 and I don’t think we will have another baby.
Him – I wish we had a baby girl along with Dhruv (our son who was going to be 10 years)
Saying this we both hugged each other with all emotions overflowing along with our welled-up eyes.
Next morning, we started as usual. Hubby went off to office & I left son in his school. After coming back home, I did my normal household chores and then relaxed on the sofa with my laptop on my lap.
Suddenly, I noticed the date on the laptop. And, I remembered I missed my period. Something struck my head.
Was this for real? Could I be pregnant? No, I don’t think so. Or maybe YES ……..
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Only a Pregnancy Test can tell for now. Now all these years, I didn’t miss my period or didn’t have any pregnancy symptoms for me to keep a pregnancy test kit at home.
I decided to buy a pregnancy test kit when I go to pick up Dhruv from his school.
Time was ticking & I was getting restless, I wanted to know If I was Pregnant.
Finally, I bought the kit & picked up Dhruv from his school. Came home & went straight into the bathroom & did the test.
And …… waiting for my result now …………
OMG ….. Is this for real? We just spoke about this last night. We had given up & lost all hope of having another baby.
And now, here is the Pregnancy Test in my hand which shows two vertical lines.
YES …… I AM PREGNANT …. After long 10 years …. I am pregnant AGAIN.
I could not believe it. How? When? I was trying to rewind back & think.
Lots of thoughts running on my mind. How will I be able to cope? I am 10 years older than my first pregnancy. Age is on higher side. Husband’s age is also on higher side. Will we be able to manage financially at this juncture? Husband …. omg I have not informed him. I totally panicked. I didn’t know what to do, what to think. I had to inform my husband. Talk about the next steps.
All thoughts flowing one by one. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. And I took one big breath.
Telling Hubby about the Big News
I called my husband, he was in office. Asked if he could come home faster? He panicked, what happened he asked. I was just smiling & I said ‘Nothing, you come home once you are done’ and I kept the phone.
I could not tell him this BIG NEWS over a telephone call.
Every minute, I was getting more restless & thinking of ways of how I will inform my husband about this new happiness.
Finally the wait was over & my husband came home.
He was eager to know what had prompted me to call him at his office & ask him to come home faster than usual. He could sense something special looking at me. I took him upstairs to the bathroom & showed him the pregnancy test whilst putting his hand on my tummy.
His happiness knew no bounds. We were waiting for this for years.
Tears welled up our eyes, again. But this time it was happiness flowing through our eyes.
We always wanted to have two kids. And now we would have them.
All this years Dhruv was the apple of our eyes, But now we will have one more apple of our eyes. Dhruv will have a sibling !!!!!!!!
Breaking news to the Big Brother Dhruv
We need to tell him, but how? He asked us for a sibling several times before. We always said that maybe its not going to happen. So now how do we break this news to him.
Before we told him the news we wanted to be doubly sure that the test was actually positive. So we waited for two more days and did the home test again.
After we saw the second positive pregnancy test, we decided to tell Dhruv about the pregnancy. He was going to be the big brother and he deserved to know about it. We wanted him to enjoy the whole pregnancy just as I and my husband will be enjoying my pregnancy.
So, we went to Dhruv who was sitting in the living room to announce our pregnancy.
We told him that he was going to be a big brother & that he will have a sibling in few months.
Guess what? He thought we were joking. Just telling him as he used to ask us about baby several times.
We had to literally show him the pregnancy test to make him believe we were telling him the truth. And that he will actually be an elder brother and have a little sibling to play with.
His joy & happiness knew no boundaries. He smiled & laughed his heart out in happiness & thought like his dream has come true.
Just like we wanted a second child, Dhruv also wanted a baby sister or brother who would be his own sibling.
The Pregnancy at 40
Well as the days were passing by, the truth of pregnancy at 40 was sinking in.
So now we have our big question.
What is Pregnancy at 40 like? How is it different from Pregnancy at 30?
Hold your horses. We are just going to find that out. Stay with me.
Well to be honest, my first Pregnancy at 30 was very different from my second Pregnancy at 40.
Normally one would think that second pregnancy would be easier than the first. I would say, Think Again.
My second Pregnancy after 40 did mean that I knew the process of Pregnancy & also was more experienced in Parenting.
I was more relaxed in my second Pregnancy as to the process than I was in my first Pregnancy at 30 when I was a First Time Mom.
That being said, it doesn’t mean I didn’t have any surprises in my second pregnancy. Many things had changed.
For me the Most Important part was Being Tired ALL the Time. My body was 10 years more older & it was showing up.
Pregnancy at 40 will not only throw in Challenges and but would also come with some Benefits too.
You always need to see both the sides of the coin. Also, I still had some birthing questions.
So let’s go through the Challenges of Pregnancy at 40 as compared to Pregnancy at 30
Tired, Tired, Tired … Your body will time and again tell you that it is no longer the 10 years younger body that you had at 30. I was tired all the time. Even though, I did take rest I would still feel tired. So much so that I would even wake up being tired.
2. More Work
In my first Pregnancy at 30, there were not many responsibilities, but in my second Pregnancy at 40 things were not the same. I had to take care of my 10-year young son. Do his school rounds, take him for his extra curriculum activities, grocery shopping, household work, the list is endless.
3. Baby Brain or Forgetfulness
I am sure we all have gone through this at some stages of our pregnancy. But somehow, I felt that my Baby Brain was doing overtime during my second Pregnancy at 40 compared to my first Pregnancy at 30.
And mind you, this Baby Brain can do anything WIERD you can think of.
Just to give you my example, While cleaning the vegetable I put the clean portion in the waste bag & a good portion on my plate.
Another one, forgetting to ON the Gas while cooking
Yet another, forgetting my son’s extra curricular class …. The list can go on. I might have to write another blog to just jot these down ????
4. Excessive Back Pain
I have seen many pregnant woman complaining about back pain. During my first pregnancy, some how I didn’t experience any severe kind of back pain. Not that I didn’t have any, just that it was much milder.
But during my second Pregnancy at 40, the back pain was quiet a lot. There were times, when even lying down or hot bag would not solve it. I have had sleepless nights because of the back pain.
So basically, although Back Pain is a very common side effect of Pregnancy, it got worse during my second Pregnancy.
5. More Tests / More Scans
Be Prepared is all I have to say. With age comes more tests & scans as your risks for certain conditions / complications increase.
There are more risks of down syndrome for your baby for Pregnancy after 40.
Also, there may be certain other increased risks associated with Pregnancy after 40, like:
Frankly speaking, the above are only risks and not everyone goes through each or some of them.
In fact, during my Pregnancy at 40, I did not have to go through any of these above conditions.
But, if anyone has had these complications in any previous pregnancy, then your chances of getting them are higher. That being said, it does not mean that you will absolutely go through it.
So, in case you have had any such complication in your previous pregnancy, do let your mid-wife know about it, so better care can be taken for you and your baby.
6. More likely to have problems during labour
As discussed in the previous point, Pregnancy at 40 comes with many risks. It also increases your risks of having a caesarean delivery commonly called as C-Section.
After the age of 40 your muscles in your womb tend to get weak which is one of the reason why after 40 pregnancy ends into a C-section.
Sometimes, due to many different risk factors as mentioned before, there could be complications during labour which can result into induced labour. That again is another reason of emergency C-section.
One of my friend had induced labour, but by the time she actually gave birth, it took a long time. This Prolonged second stage of labour can sometimes result in complications in baby.
7. More helping hand required
Well, no doubt that all pregnant women need help during and after their pregnancy. But because various complications & risks are associated with Pregnancy after the age of 40, you feel the need for support even more.
Just to cite my experience, I was thrilled to be pregnant with my second child. But I always had that constant fear of being Pregnant at 40 and if my body would be able to cope up with the Pregnancy.
Also, during my Postpartum I underwent mental depression which I never experienced after my First Pregnancy at 30.
This is the time when you need your support system the most.
Your support system can be your family, your friends or your acquaintance offering you genuine help.
Your support system can not only help you in doing various chores for you, but also can uplift your mood & release your tension.
Your cheerfulness will help baby to also be Happy inside your womb and also after birth.
8. Mind games
Many women having their Pregnancy at or after 40 go through a feeling of ‘What will people think’
I had this feeling of what are the people going to say when I tell I am pregnant at 40. Will they mock for getting pregnant at this age? Will they bully that there is a gap of more than 10 years between my kids?
These questions did have an effect on me. But to be very frank, I found a lot of support from friends & family. Everyone was a bit surprised with the Pregnancy news, but they all were very supportive.
Well no need to be sad reading all this. Because it is not all that dreadful after all.
There are a few Benefits too of getting Pregnant at 40
By the age of 40, you are experienced and wise. And also, as compared to Pregnancy at 30, your Pregnancy at 40 will make you realise that there are so many things that you are aware of now regarding Pregnancy which you didn’t know during your Pregnancy at 30.
Since you are already an experienced person at this age, you tend to be more relaxed as to what you will expect in the coming days of pregnancy. You are Better Prepared for Pregnancy.
3. More Open To Taking Help
I must admit that I was a bit shy & sceptical to ask for help during my first Pregnancy at 30, but not anymore. I have taken all the help that was offered & in fact even asked for help on my own during my second Pregnancy at 40.
4. Older kids can be of Help too
During my second Pregnancy, my older son was 10 years young and was taking care of himself & also helping me around. So well, if you have a late second pregnancy, it helps as your other kid/kids are older now.
5. More care & tests are offered
Once you cross 40, you will be offered more care & test by your doctor and mid-wife.
6. Financial stability
As you grow in age, you also grow financially independent. With an already established career, you can have a more financially relaxed Pregnancy. It may also allow you to give more time to your baby.
7. Emotionally Prepared
With age comes a maturity & stability to handle situations which demand emotional turmoil. Pregnancy comes with lots of emotional ups & down. A younger person might get more stressed out than an elder person. With a similar logic a mature woman will be able to cope better the pressures of emotional stress of pregnancy.
So now you see, Pregnancy at 40 does come with a few benefits as well.
You might also want to know about some Myths relating to Pregnancy at 40. Click below to know more.
Having a baby at a later stage in life is much common these days. So rest assured that you are definitely not alone in your journey of bringing a new life in this stage of your life.
The only suggestion that I would like to make is to talk with your doctor about all your individual risk factors before starting a family at this stage in your life.
All the Best for your journey of Pregnancy at 40.
If you have any relatable story you would like to share , feel free to mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org
You can also let me know your feedback on the blog & what you feel about my journey by commenting below.